The Power Of The Mobile

Thursday, June 9th, 2011 12:39 am | By Stephanie Woo

I’m sure you’ve seen those store-bought mobiles with singing, dancing, blinking animals, princess and cars. You might even have one. Boxes advertise that it stimulates the baby’s vision and hearing, and without my mother’s advice, I most certainly would have bought three.

My mother Ms. Lam says, the infant, who recently came out of the dark, lightless womb, is already over-stimulated by EVERYTHING new, bright and moving around him. Does he really need an electronic device to further stimulate his vision and hearing? Just lying there at home in his crib or on the floor is more than plenty. My brother Alfred told me he bought an electronic mobile when he and Cynthia had their first child. At the time, he thought to himself, “What a great toy, baby Lauren loves it because she stares at it all the time!” It took a lot of education for him to realize she couldn’t help but stare at it all day long, like someone under hypnosis! It’s probably just a couple steps up from putting your baby in front of a TV.

THE PURPOSE OF A MOBILE, I LEARNED, IS TO BE TOUCHED, not just looked at. To achieve this is a big deal for a little baby. It is, like Maria Montessori says, the first time he can affect his environment.

Here are Ms. Lam’s instructions to make the right mobile:

  • Mobiles should be SIMPLE
  • Use clips to clip things to a rod
  • Never put more than ONE THING on it
  • When you start, clip something very light that moves slightly on its own
  • As the babies grow, make mobiles that won’t move unless they touch it
  • Mobiles that ring or make sounds are particularly attractive
  • Make mobiles in primary colors: red, blue, yellow. Babies are less interested in things that are silver or gold
  • Put a mobile up for 15-20 minutes (or shorter) and take it down when the baby loses interest. If you keep a mobile in her face all the time, she won’t see it at all.

My Implementation

I took some tissue wrapping paper from a baby gift we got. I cut up the bottom so it was stringy and clipped it to the mobile (see picture).

Mackenzie was 9 weeks old was I first showed her. I didn’t get any response from her the first day. The second day, when I put up the mobile, I can tell she was interested. She kept looking at it. Because the tissue paper is so light, it moves every time she breathes, which keeps her interested. Babies notice the tiniest little movements. The first time she reached out to touch the mobile, I was soo excited!!

Brooke’s favorite toy is a small owl plush that has a bell inside its stomach. She was never interested in mobiles when I first put it in front of her, unless I was there playing with her. But a couple weeks later, I remember I left her with the owl mobile as I went about cleaning the house, and suddenly I heard ringing, and I knew she was interacting with the mobile! It’s still her favorite toy at four months.

My girls’ interaction with the mobile has evolved over time. First she starts by looking at it very intently. And then one day, she starts pawing at it. Now, at four months, she will grab it and pull on it. If I want to keep her quiet for 20 minutes to finish the dishes or a conversation, I will leave her lying on her mat with a mobile. When she starts whining, I’ll just change a mobile and she’s good for another 10-15 minutes.

I’ve noticed that multi-dimensional mobiles are the best. I made sure the mobile wasn’t just a plastic toy. I used things that had a smell, made a noise when you touched it (like a crumply piece of paper or a ringing bell), different textures, different colors, etc. It’s important to vary what you give the baby (not just plastic baby stuff), but also things from our everyday surrounding.

Things I’ve used as a mobile

  • small colorful plush toys that ring or rattle when you touch it (most successful with my kids)
  • a rose (M loved looking at it, especially after I hold it close to her nose)
  • a plant twig
  • different colored ribbons tied to a rod
  • colored paper snowflakes
  • a row of yarn balls that go from light yellow to dark yellow
  • lemon slices strung up with a string (unsuccessful)
  • a row of paper dolls holding hands
  • jingle bells bracelet (they liked this)
  • origami crane with a bell attached to it
  • a small spoon

How to hang a mobile

I learned that mobiles have to be in the right position. Make sure it is hung so that it’s

  • high up enough so the baby can see it
  • low enough so he can touch it when he reaches out
  • doesn’t trail on his body
  • a little to the left or the right, which usually works better than straight up
  • not hanging above his nose, or else you’ll make your baby cross-eyed!

How To (Not) Rock Your Baby To Sleep

Thursday, June 9th, 2011 12:37 am | By Stephanie Woo

Brooke and Mackenzie are 4 ½ months. Two weeks ago, I hired a new nanny from China who has been nannying for five years in the US. On the third day she started working with us, Brooke fussed a little bit before her morning nap. My nanny immediately picked her up and rocked her to sleep. Brooke fell asleep in her arms. I didn’t say anything but I made a mental note because in my house, we never rock our children to sleep.

Another time, she told me that babies like to drink milk before sleeping, so as soon as Brooke started fussing before her nap, the nanny started feeding her some milk. In my observation, this did not shorten the fussing time. I could tell that the nanny was experienced and I didn’t say anything once again.

Sunday and Monday came (nanny’s days off) and it was just me and the kids. Again, Brooke was fussy before her nap. I just let her fuss and eventually it became full-out crying. I let her cry for 3 minutes and then went in, picked her up, patted her until she became calm and then put her down again. Lo and behold, she started screaming again. So I let her cry for another 3 (LONG, it’s so hard to listen to your baby cry) minutes, went in and did the same thing. I did this 4 times in total, till she finally fell asleep.

The next day, she was fussy AGAIN at nap time. I did the same thing. This time, she fell asleep after 2 times. And then that afternoon, I left her on the play mat and she fell asleep by herself, no fussing at all.

The funny part, when the nanny arrived the next day, Brooke did the same thing again. Babies are smart, they know who’s around – who will spoil them and who will not. I told the nanny to leave her to me. It was clear it was just gonna be mommy! And she quickly fell asleep – no rocking, no milk.

I had to have a conversation with the nanny about the whole thing. From her point of view, she, being my employee, didn’t want me to think she was leaving the baby to cry. I reassured her that in this household, it was okay to employ our strategy: if the baby fusses before sleeping (and it’s clear she is not wet, hungry or needs to be burped and that she is really just tired or fussy), let her cry for a few minutes, pick her up to comfort her, then put her straight down. No rocking, no milk, nothing. Just put her down and repeat if necessary. A couple days later, Brooke was back to her old self: we put her down in her bed and she puts herself to sleep.

I want to raise independent, happy children. When babies can put themselves to sleep, they are learning to be independent, without needing an adult to fall asleep. And this makes for happier babies.

Encouraging Bilingualism

Thursday, June 9th, 2011 12:36 am | By Stephanie Woo

I am Chinese and married to an American man who doesn’t speak Chinese. I really want my children to be bilingual, which isn’t easy living in America and surrounded by English-speakers.  

My mother Ms. Lam taught me the following on how to raise bilingual children:

From the day they are born, each parent must decide who will speak what language to the baby and stick to it. In my case, my husband speaks to them in English and I speak to them in Chinese.  My mom was specific: this means not only speaking to them in Chinese in day-to-day conversation, it also means reading Chinese books and singing Chinese songs. “Not a word of English,” she emphasized. If you start at 6 months, thinking they don’t understand anyway, it’s too late. Children are particularly sensitive to language starting at 2 months and will be able to pick up the mother’s accent if they start hearing it at that age. More precisely-speaking, what they are picking up from the mother is the vowel sounds because it’s those “ahs” “uh” “ooh” that make up a person’s accent. The first six months is the most crucial. Believe it or not, when you try to teach a child a language at 1 year old, it’s already considered a second language!

You can even raise trilingual or quadrilingual children if they are regularly exposed to a third or fourth person who speaks to them exclusively in another language (like a nanny, grandparent, aunts/uncles, etc). Babies are language machines and the ease with which they pick up language at this age is nothing short of a miracle.

My Implementation

Knowing the only chance my children will speak Chinese is if I persevere, I’ve made special effort to speak as much Chinese as possible to them. I cannot sing them my favorite “Sound of Music” songs or read “Good Night Moon.” Instead, I’ve searched high and low for Chinese poetry and songs. I’ve taught (or re-taught) myself to sing and recite many Chinese children’s songs, hit love songs and even Tang poetry that I memorized as a child.  I don’t have any children’s books in Chinese, so I’ve read to them Buddhist sutras, books on Chinese medicine and even Chinese newspaper. If you read it like it’s the most exciting adventure story in the world, they will even stay enthralled! I’ve also had to brush up certain vocabulary words I’ve never had to use in Chinese, so I now know how to say ‘butternut squash’ and ‘raspberry’ in Chinese as well. This exercise has been good for my Chinese as well.

From when they were a few weeks old, Brooke and Mackenzie would stare at my mouth intently when I spoke to them. And by 2 months, they would start to move their mouth and make sounds. Remembering 2 months is a very important sensitive period for language, I ‘talked’ to them often, leaving space for back and forth conversation, waiting for them to finish their part of the talking before starting my part of the talking.  Since my babies spend more time with me and my Chinese nanny, it seems they understand Chinese more readily now. Daddy jokes that he has to learn Chinese to communicate with his children!  

 
Ms. Lam’s instructions for when they get older is the following: the only way to get your child to speak Chinese is to speak to them in Chinese and get them to speak it back to you. Never ever answer them if they speak to you in English. If they do, tell them, “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” I haven’t reached this stage yet, but I can imagine this won’t be easy to keep up. But being trilingual myself and knowing the pleasure and advantage of speaking different languages, I intend to persevere.