Last week, as I picked up Brooke out of the stroller after our morning walk, I had a breakdown. A wave of desperation washed over me. I simply cannot go on taking care of these two kids today.
Just so you know, I’m not the type who “can’t” do anything. I can do anything, I’ve always thought. And yet there I was, I just couldn’t do it anymore. And it wasn’t the first time this happened.
That night, I called my coach, Kim Ann Curtin of The Coach Shoppe. She’s the best personal development coach in the world. And we worked through it all.
I was reading in Brain Rules for Babies by John Medina that children are wired for safety, not learning. They need safety first before they will learn. And if the environment is not safe, then they will not learn. Safe environment actually produce smarter kids. What kind of environment is not safe: emotional, stressed out, angry environments. The kind of space I was in when I broke down.
Luckily my coach set me straight. I clearly had not asked for the help I needed in the last three days when the kids were sick. As a result, I didn’t sleep for three nights. My nanny asked for the day off suddenly which I agreed to and I was left in a bind. Physically and emotionally I was already at the end. Rather than prevent this from happening, I let it get to my absolute limit before I reached out for help.
My coach made this all so clear for me. Who suffers the most in all of this? My kids. They saw mommy break down in tears. During the hour I waited for my husband to come home, I felt so paralyzed I couldn’t do anything for them (after Daddy came home, we were able to work together and cook lunch for them, bathe them, and put them down for a nap, before I went down for a long nap myself. Daddy took over for the rest of the day, while I rested). This isn’t what I want for my kids.
The next two days, I took my coach’s coaching and handed the kids over to the nanny. I went for a massage, had dinner till 11pm with friends and took care of myself. It was a wonderful two days and I was myself again, happy and grateful for my beautiful children.
That’s why a coach is absolutely essential for every single mother. Husbands, mothers, mother-in-laws, friend, even fellow mothers can only do so much for you. Those relationships are generally multi-layered. But a coach is there for one thing and one thing only: your well-being. And for a mother, that means also the well-being of her children. A coach is essential. If you need a coach, read more here.