我們不分享！
Brooke跟她的推車
當兩個小孩在一起玩時，是什麼樣子，你應該知道吧！別人手中的玩具，就是當場最好的玩具！經常，我們聽見家長或者是照顧者告訴小孩“親愛的，你要分享喔！”
想像一下，你在一個美麗的餐廳跟你的另一半，以及其他兩位好友在用餐，食物上桌，大家都開始享用美食，然後你跟另一半說“親愛的，你應該要跟你的朋友們分享你的食物！”那給你什麼樣的感覺呢？在不同的日子裡，你的反應也許不一，也許是以下其中一個，也許是全部：“啊！為什麼？這是我的食物“”為什麼我要分享？你為什麼不把你自己的食物拿來分享？“然後說”不要“，坦白說，其他人會覺得你的另一半那樣拒絕是很粗魯的，身為承認，我們尊重別人分享的權力，來自於內在自發的分享是我們很珍惜的，如果要有人要求了才分享，那就不是真的分享了。
在我們家，你不會聽見我們說“分享吧！”。
兩星期前，Mackenzie在玩一輛玩具推車，Brooke也想要，我聽見一聲尖叫，然後發現Mackenzie抓著玩具推車，Brooke試著從她的手中拉走推車，我立馬蹲下，跟她們一樣高的高度，轉頭對Brooke說“Brooke，你可以對Mackenzie說，’Mackenzie當你結束時，我可以玩嗎？’”我對Brooke說時，每次只講一兩個字，所以她能夠重複我說的話。然後我轉頭跟Mackenzie說“Mackenzie，當你結束時，可以讓Brooke玩一會嗎？“她點頭表示同意。
Brooke仍然會想要從Mackenzie手中搶走，我說“Mackenzie還沒有結束，當她結束時，你就可以玩了。現在，你想要讀一本書，或者聽音樂呢？”Brooke放手了，然後去拿別的東西玩。
五分鐘之後，Brooke在樓上，Mackenzie爬上樓梯，手中拖著玩具推車，喊著”Brooke!Brooke!”Mackenzie意思是她已經結束了，可以換人玩了！
自從她們開始會爭玩具，我們就一直是這樣處理，大約就在4，5個月之前。跟幼兒溝通，這是我用過最有效的溝通方法，跟幼兒說話，要用她們的語言，幼兒也可以很合理的反應，超乎你的意料之外！下一回，Brooke在玩某一用東西，她也知道，她會受到一樣的待遇：她可以盡興的玩，直到她結束為止。當小孩了解這個層面，她就會很有耐心的等著輪到她！
Hello Stephanie, I had trouble trying to figure out what to do in this situation. How should I approach this during group play-dates when my child starts getting upset or when the other child wants what she has?
Hi Debbie,
In my experience, if I do not know the child or mother, I wouldn't ask the child to share their toy with my children. However, if my child is playing with something and someone tries to take it out of her hands, I would try to prevent that. I would ask Brooke, "Is it okay if he plays with it after you're done?" And then get down to the other child's level and say, "She will give it to you when she is done, okay?" And then a couple minutes later, if the other child still seems to really want it, ask Brooke, "Are you done playing?" If she says no or doesn't respond, I would say, "Okay, I understand you're not done. When you are done, can she play with it?" And just wait, let your child decide when she wants to give it to the other child. It may be that she wants to play with that toy through the whole playdate, then respect that. When she clearly doesn't want it anymore, I would say, "Brooke, can he play with it now?" And I have seen this happen more often than not: Brooke will bring the toy over to the child. If this doesn't happen with your child, you can model for your child what it means by walking over and handing it to the child yourself. Your child is learning what it means to play with others, so you are the best model for what she should do!
Thank you very much for this post! I was struggling in what to do about this sharing issue. Including the question Debbie asked and you brilliantly replyed.
Kisses from Brazil 😉