幼兒與睡覺時間
星期四, 12月 13th, 2012 11:51 am | By Stephanie Woo
過去兩個月，要讓23個月大的B以及M去睡覺，是段挺難的經歷，在我關燈離開她們的房間之後，她倆輪流哭，妳們有其它人有這樣的經歷嗎？我試了好多種方法，一個晚上又一個晚上，讓她們留在她們的床上睡，而我在我的床睡。
我試了很多種方法：1 陪到她們睡著為止（很累人，而且讓小孩養成習慣，是我最不喜歡的方法）；2 讓小孩自己哭到入睡（也是我比較不喜歡的方法，當我真的很累又沒辦法時用過，有時候真的有效果）；3 就讓她們在房間外面玩，讓他們熬夜。
我將我試過並且有效的方法整理如下，過去兩週，狀況好多了，通常我關燈之後五分鐘，我就可以離開她們的房間，她們會留在她們的房間裡面，最後自己睡著，直到第二天早上7點。我還是持續的在尋找方法，以免有時候不管用。如果你有其它的方法，請留言給我。
- 媽媽跟爸爸都參與到小孩睡覺準備的過程。有無數的夜晚，小孩就是不讓我離開她們的房間，並且她們會用哭來對付我，讓她們不哭的其中一個方法就是跟她們說“爸爸等會會進來跟妳們道晚安，妳們要爸爸進來了嗎？”通常她們會說好。不知為什麼，通常爸爸只要出現5分鐘，就可以讓她們睡著。也許，不是每個爸爸在小孩要睡覺的時候都有空這樣做，但是，我很相信（我也這樣說服我老公）爸爸們對於讓小孩們睡著比媽媽還厲害，他現在也相信了。
- 給個“小兒按摩”。Brooke最近很需要抱，在觀察Brooke一段時間之後，我有了這樣的一個方法。你可以這樣做：在關燈之後，將小孩緊緊抱在你的胸膛，用你的雙手手掌摩擦小孩的背，腿，手臂，以及腳，輕柔堅定並且緩慢。盡量的讓她靠近你，就像是嬰兒按摩，不過對象是你家的幼兒，我家的兩個孩子輪流，當我在為其中一個按摩的時候，我會跟另一個說“我正在抱你的姐姐／妹妹，請不要打擾我們”，Brooke以及Mackenzie都很喜歡，Mackenzie會用中文跟我說“Mackenzie要用力一點”，大約5-10分鐘的肌膚親密接觸，她們會回到各自的枕頭，跟我道晚安。最近的幾個星期，這是最有效的方法，特別是我先生出差的那個星期，不知識小嬰兒需要很多的肌膚接觸，幼兒也是很需要de.
- 千萬不要改變睡眠的流程。之前已經吃過飯，喝了奶，也讀過故事了， 在晚上8:15-8:30之間，我們一定會去準備小孩要睡覺。白天的流程可能會有一些改變（我還是努力的維持下午一點的午睡時間），但是，晚上的睡覺時間是不會改變的，如果我和老公要出門，我們也會請保姆遵守同樣的時間規律，有很多家庭在某些時候會放鬆（假日，生日，特別的日子，週末），但是幼兒很強烈的需要秩序以及固定流程，讓小孩依照成人的時間來修改，只會讓情況一團亂，讓孩子沒有辦法自己去睡覺。
- 在睡覺之前的一個小時，跟小孩再一次說明她們睡覺之前的準備過程。當我在為小孩洗澡的時候，我會將整個流程再說一次“洗澡之後，妳們就要喝奶，妳們躺在床上之後，我就會給你們讀故事，接著我就會關燈，媽媽就會離開妳們的房間，妳們就會自己睡著。”在關燈前的15分鐘，我還會將流程再睡一次，這樣的心裡預備過程對每個人都很有幫助。
- 睡眠的自由與限制。當她們說“我還不想睡”，我就說“你還不需要睡，你得要待在房間裡，但是你可以不要睡著。”我說的時候，是真心的。她們睡在地板床上，因此，她們有自由能夠再房間裡自由移動，一直到她們夠累了，就會自己睡著。
我讀了很多的部落格／博客上的文章，告訴家長要珍惜睡覺的時間，因為，小孩長大之後，她們不會喜歡你現在對待她的方式。我知道它們說的是真的，但是為了我現在自己的快樂以及心靈健康，我也需要有時間給自己，而自己的時間就是她們睡著之後的時間，如果你家現在有個幼兒，你應該懂得我說什麼，每個晚上當我有幾個小時給我自己，並且可以好好睡一覺，第二天早上我們見到彼此的時候，我們都會開心一點！
Amen, Stephanie. I am so glad you posted this because my girls have always had difficulty falling asleep since they were colicky newborns and its nice to know we’re not alone in the toddlerhood bedtime troubles! I’ve tried lying with them until they fall asleep (they often wake an hour later and cry, or it cuts into my “me” time by hours and makes me resentful), and also sleep training/cry-it-out out starting at 7 months old (they’re 17 months now!) which still hurts my heart to hear. We now do a combo where we lay with them with the lights out (after story in bed) and sing/hum a few lullabies and rub their backs for 5 minutes then quietly leave without fanfare. Sometimes they cry for a few minutes, sometimes they’ve already fallen asleep, sometimes one has fallen asleep but the other cries when we leave but will cuddle up with her sis and settle down. Rarely do they cry longer than 10-15 minutes (off an on)- if they do then I know someone has a dirty diaper, is teething, or is just not tired yet/is overtired and exhausted. At that point we normally go in quietly in the dark, with no words, and check them/lay down with them for a few more minutes. It helps that they sleep in the same bed – they have since they started crawling and one would always crawl into the others’ bed! We just pushed their mattresses together and let them have a big roomy pad. I wonder if Brooke & Mackenzie ever sleep together? We have a video monitor so we can peek at our little sleeping darlings!
I agree too that the routine is key. Anytime we’ve varied it or strayed from that order it’s rocked their night (and ours) so it’s just not worth it- for their sake or ours! Friends without kids have a hard time understanding our insistence on following this routine and timing.
I wish they would be able to just play or read books until they’re tired enough to go lay down in their beds and fall asleep, but at that time of the night they just go ballistic when we leave the room! Have you ever been able to just leave a low light/night light on and let your girls play until they sleep?
Hi Gillian,
B and M also sleep on one big bed that we created out of their two individual mattresses. They usually stay on their side at bedtime, but by morning, they are all over the place!
I have not been able to just leave a light on and let them play till they sleep, mostly because that hasn’t been our routine. What they are familiar with is lights out at 815 and then they stay in the room by themselves (after our good night rounds) till they fall asleep.
So good to hear from you and read your updates on the girls!
Thanks for this post! I love the methods you’re using here and we have used some of them in the past, and the bedtime routine consistently. But it’s good to be reminded when we’re feeling cranky and out of ideas to just stick with it! I will need to try leading him back to his room instead of picking him up and forcing him back on his bed. Also the part about him not being forced to ‘sleep’.
Hi Stephanie, my little daughter is now 9 months and has been sleeping on her floor bed since she’s 5 months. When she started to crawl and pull up on things, she would stay right behind the door or pull up on it and i wouldn’t be able to open it to go in. So I had to put a standing gate so I could open the door. Then she would pull up on the gate and cry. I usually just let her cry for 5 minutes before I would go in to pick her up and soothe her for 1-2 minutes, then put her down. I was just wondering if you had the same problem with your little ones blocking the door. I don’t know if I should keep the gate or remove it since I don’t want her to feel restricted like she’s being in a bigger crib. Although she does play with her toys sometimes in the morning for 10-15 mins or so, she doesn’t really play in her room before bed time. So as soon as I turn off the light and close the door, she’s headed straight to the gate and start to fuss. Any advise on how to encourage her to play or crawl around in her room before she’s ready to go to sleep? She does play on her own around the house, just not in her bedroom.
I forgot to mention, I’ve been following a routine everyday too. Walk, eat, bath, milk, reading book, then light out.
All great tips! You are spot on about dads being better at putting kids to bed. Our first 2 kids (3rd is still nursing before bed.) would pull me back for question after question, book after book, hug after hug…but my husband was/is always able to read them a quick book, tuck them in with a hug and a kiss and that was it!