小孩新的遊戲間

有一段時間我都沒有寫新的內容了，因為我們剛從美國的東岸的巴爾的摩搬到了西岸的波特蘭，再一次，我拖家帶口，為了接受蒙特梭利培訓，這一次，是3-6歲的培訓，在蒙特梭利的大本營之一波特蘭，這一個城市讓我們很開心，因此也希望短時間內我們不要再搬家了。

三月初我們剛抵達的時候，我們沒有住到酒店裡，而是選擇了一個短租房，租的是一個有15呎高天花板的四層公寓，裡頭的設計師傢俱是L型的白色皮沙發，柚木咖啡桌，以及Herman Miller的椅子，並且還有一整組高級廚房，中間還有吧台以及吧台椅，就跟家庭裝修雜誌照片一模一樣。

然後，悲慘的日子才開始。

我忘記在一個專為成人生活而設計的家中生活有多麼困難，而我們自己以前的傢俱又還沒有運到，就只能夠先住下了，每一樣東西都是成人的高度，所以我家的女兒們什麼東西也夠不著，每一天我大約需要將她們抱起來五次，所以她們才能夠洗手，她們的肚子還得要頂在冰冷的大理石上頭，只能夠快快的將她們的手洗了（每次她們都要抗議）。吃飯，也要將她們抱到吧台椅上頭，她們要下來也一定要我的協助。我做飯時，她們就在我的腳邊哭泣，這樣的行為是15個月之前我們買學習塔（Learning Tower）的時候出現的行為，很久沒有出現過了。床，也太高了，她們自己上不去，所以每一次她們晚上要跑過來成人睡覺的地方，我們也都要協助她們上上下下（只要是在新環境中，這樣的行為就會出現），這個現代又高級的地獄，我實在等不及要搬走了。

抵達波特蘭兩星期之後，我們搬進一個之後要長住的家裡，位於波特蘭的Sylvan Heights地區，我們的家就在一個森林中，距離波特蘭市區也才五分鐘車程，終於我們的後送物品抵達了，我們把她們的傢俱都給卸下來，女兒們的眼睛都亮了，她們迫不及待的要坐上她們的板條椅，幫助把自己的玩具收拾到她們的櫃子上，爬到她們的學習塔裡頭，之後我們將她們的遊戲／工作間給擺設好，我們大家都鬆了一口氣。她們終於可以坐下來好好的進行她們要做的活動了，她們可以找到她們自己的東西，可以自己清潔，把東西歸位，可以自己洗手，能夠吃睡玩以及洗澡，還能夠自己上廁所，我們都好開心！如果你也有小孩，你還住在一個只為成人設計的家，那麼你可以重新思考一下了！從18個月大開始，小孩就應該要能夠獨立的去拿到她們需要的物品，如果你跟我一樣做，你會覺得自己精神比較放鬆，後背也比較不疼了，你的經驗會很不一樣的！

現在我們家又重新擺設好，可以接受新的挑戰了，波特蘭，來吧！

My husband is away on a business trip for 8 days. Our nanny recently went on a 6-week vacation. After three days of being alone with them, last night I had one of those I-hope-no-one-who-reads-my-blog-ever-sees-me-now kind of a moment. I’m in the middle of cleaning up after an elaborate, health-conscious, culturally-educational meal of braised sea bass, tofu with mushrooms and minced meat and a special rice dish with baby bok-choy, edamame and carrots. I’ve got dishes piled up to the ceiling in the sink, a table full of half-eaten food and wondering why I had gone through the trouble of cooking any of it. I’m trying to load the dishwasher as fast as possible, with B tugging at my pants saying, “Mama, don’t wash dishes,” It should have been a sign. Well, the girls decided to go into the rice cupboard, dump out 2 giant cups of uncooked rice on the floor then throw it at each other. “What are you doing? Stop! STOP! I knew I shouldn’t have kept this here where you can get to it!” I go upstairs to get the vacuum. When I come back, they had gotten into the flour and was smearing it all over the cupboard door. I grab their hands and pull them into the living room. “Stand here. And don’t move!” I’m absolutely fuming.

Hours later, I realized two things:
1. You cannot keep up a household the same way you did when you have a husband AND nanny.
2. Of the three most important people in B and M’s life, two of them are gone. And they are desperately trying to get my attention.

I’m still recovering from my burst of anger and ensuing exhaustion from cleaning, but I decided to have a conversation with them anyway. Communicating helps them understand what happened and helps me calm down. At bedtime, I held them and said, “Mama yelled very loudly today, didn’t I?” Nods all around. “Mama is very tired today, so when you threw rice everywhere, I got very angry. I’m sorry I yelled.” They don’t say anything. “When Daddy and Ayi are not here, I need you to help me keep the house clean. Can you help Mama keep the house clean these next few days?” It’s a lot to ask of a 2-year-old, but they nod.

This morning on our way to school, B says, “Brooke didn’t clean up.” I ask, “What didn’t you clean up?” She says, “Brooke didn’t clean up Play-doh.” “Do you want me to help you clean it up?” I ask. She says, “No. Brooke clean up Play-doh by herself.”

It took three days of exhaustion, misery and way too much yelling for me to learn this: No more elaborate meals. No more extensive cleaning. It is time to break out the disposable bowls and plates and do more take-out. They need time with me doing Play-doh, storytime and cuddles more than ever. The acting out is merely their way of getting my attention. I’m putting aside the idea of keeping the perfect home – I’m ready to get on with having the perfect time with them.

Well, I’ve found a great solution. I’ve replaced all bowls, plates and cups with the disposable kind. My goal is avoid washing dishes altogether before my husband comes home. And a couple days of take-out is going to be great for us.