小孩新的遊戏间

有一段时间我都没有写新的内容了，因为我们刚从美国的东岸的巴尔的摩搬到了西岸的波特兰，再一次，我拖家带口，为了接受蒙特梭利培训，这一次，是3-6岁的培训，在蒙特梭利的大本营之一波特兰，这一个城市让我们很开心，因此也希望短时间内我们不要再搬家了。

叁月初我们刚抵达的时候，我们没有住到酒店里，而是选择了一个短租房，租的是一个有15呎高天花板的四层公寓，里头的设计师傢俱是L型的白色皮沙发，柚木咖啡桌，以及Herman Miller的椅子，并且还有一整组高级厨房，中间还有吧台以及吧台椅，就跟家庭装修杂誌照片一模一样。

然後，悲惨的日子才开始。

我忘记在一个专为成人生活而设计的家中生活有多麽困难，而我们自己以前的傢俱又还没有运到，就只能够先住下了，每一样东西都是成人的高度，所以我家的女儿们什麽东西也够不著，每一天我大约需要将她们抱起来五次，所以她们才能够洗手，她们的肚子还得要顶在冰冷的大理石上头，只能够快快的将她们的手洗了（每次她们都要抗议）。吃饭，也要将她们抱到吧台椅上头，她们要下来也一定要我的协助。我做饭时，她们就在我的脚边哭泣，这样的行为是15个月之前我们买学习塔（Learning Tower）的时候出现的行为，很久没有出现过了。床，也太高了，她们自己上不去，所以每一次她们晚上要跑过来成人睡觉的地方，我们也都要协助她们上上下下（只要是在新环境中，这样的行为就会出现），这个现代又高级的地狱，我实在等不及要搬走了。

抵达波特兰两星期之後，我们搬进一个之後要长住的家里，位於波特兰的Sylvan Heights地区，我们的家就在一个森林中，距离波特兰市区也才五分钟车程，终於我们的後送物品抵达了，我们把她们的傢俱都给卸下来，女儿们的眼睛都亮了，她们迫不及待的要坐上她们的板条椅，帮助把自己的玩具收拾到她们的柜子上，爬到她们的学习塔里头，之後我们将她们的遊戏／工作间给摆设好，我们大家都松了一口气。她们终於可以坐下来好好的进行她们要做的活动了，她们可以找到她们自己的东西，可以自己清洁，把东西归位，可以自己洗手，能够吃睡玩以及洗澡，还能够自己上厕所，我们都好开心！如果你也有小孩，你还住在一个只为成人设计的家，那麽你可以重新思考一下了！从18个月大开始，小孩就应该要能够独立的去拿到她们需要的物品，如果你跟我一样做，你会觉得自己精神比较放松，後背也比较不疼了，你的经验会很不一样的！

现在我们家又重新摆设好，可以接受新的挑战了，波特兰，来吧！

My husband is away on a business trip for 8 days. Our nanny recently went on a 6-week vacation. After three days of being alone with them, last night I had one of those I-hope-no-one-who-reads-my-blog-ever-sees-me-now kind of a moment. I’m in the middle of cleaning up after an elaborate, health-conscious, culturally-educational meal of braised sea bass, tofu with mushrooms and minced meat and a special rice dish with baby bok-choy, edamame and carrots. I’ve got dishes piled up to the ceiling in the sink, a table full of half-eaten food and wondering why I had gone through the trouble of cooking any of it. I’m trying to load the dishwasher as fast as possible, with B tugging at my pants saying, “Mama, don’t wash dishes,” It should have been a sign. Well, the girls decided to go into the rice cupboard, dump out 2 giant cups of uncooked rice on the floor then throw it at each other. “What are you doing? Stop! STOP! I knew I shouldn’t have kept this here where you can get to it!” I go upstairs to get the vacuum. When I come back, they had gotten into the flour and was smearing it all over the cupboard door. I grab their hands and pull them into the living room. “Stand here. And don’t move!” I’m absolutely fuming.

Hours later, I realized two things:
1. You cannot keep up a household the same way you did when you have a husband AND nanny.
2. Of the three most important people in B and M’s life, two of them are gone. And they are desperately trying to get my attention.

I’m still recovering from my burst of anger and ensuing exhaustion from cleaning, but I decided to have a conversation with them anyway. Communicating helps them understand what happened and helps me calm down. At bedtime, I held them and said, “Mama yelled very loudly today, didn’t I?” Nods all around. “Mama is very tired today, so when you threw rice everywhere, I got very angry. I’m sorry I yelled.” They don’t say anything. “When Daddy and Ayi are not here, I need you to help me keep the house clean. Can you help Mama keep the house clean these next few days?” It’s a lot to ask of a 2-year-old, but they nod.

This morning on our way to school, B says, “Brooke didn’t clean up.” I ask, “What didn’t you clean up?” She says, “Brooke didn’t clean up Play-doh.” “Do you want me to help you clean it up?” I ask. She says, “No. Brooke clean up Play-doh by herself.”

It took three days of exhaustion, misery and way too much yelling for me to learn this: No more elaborate meals. No more extensive cleaning. It is time to break out the disposable bowls and plates and do more take-out. They need time with me doing Play-doh, storytime and cuddles more than ever. The acting out is merely their way of getting my attention. I’m putting aside the idea of keeping the perfect home – I’m ready to get on with having the perfect time with them.

Well, I’ve found a great solution. I’ve replaced all bowls, plates and cups with the disposable kind. My goal is avoid washing dishes altogether before my husband comes home. And a couple days of take-out is going to be great for us.