我们不分享！
Brooke跟她的推车
当两个小孩在一起玩时，是什么样子，你应该知道吧！别人手中的玩具，就是当场最好的玩具！经常，我们听见家长或者是照顾者告诉小孩“亲爱的，你要分享喔！”
想像一下，你在一个美丽的餐厅跟你的另一半，以及其他两位好友在用餐，食物上桌，大家都开始享用美食，然后你跟另一半说“亲爱的，你应该要跟你的朋友们分享你的食物！”那给你什么样的感觉呢？在不同的日子里，你的反应也许不一，也许是以下其中一个，也许是全部：“啊！为什么？这是我的食物“”为什么我要分享？你为什么不把你自己的食物拿来分享？“然后说”不要“，坦白说，其他人会觉得你的另一半那样拒绝是很粗鲁的，身为承认，我们尊重别人分享的权力，来自於内在自发的分享是我们很珍惜的，如果要有人要求了才分享，那就不是真的分享了。
在我们家，你不会听见我们说“分享吧！”。
两星期前，Mackenzie在玩一辆玩具推车，Brooke也想要，我听见一声尖叫，然后发现Mackenzie抓着玩具推车，Brooke试着从她的手中拉走推车，我立马蹲下，跟她们一样高的高度，转头对Brooke说“Brooke，你可以对Mackenzie说，’Mackenzie当你结束时，我可以玩吗？’”我对Brooke说时，每次只讲一两个字，所以她能够重复我说的话。然后我转头跟Mackenzie说“Mackenzie，当你结束时，可以让Brooke玩一会吗？“她点头表示同意。
Brooke仍然会想要从Mackenzie手中抢走，我说“Mackenzie还没有结束，当她结束时，你就可以玩了。现在，你想要读一本书，或者听音乐呢？”Brooke放手了，然后去拿别的东西玩。
五分钟之后，Brooke在楼上，Mackenzie爬上楼梯，手中拖着玩具推车，喊着”Brooke!Brooke!”Mackenzie意思是她已经结束了，可以换人玩了！
自从她们开始会争玩具，我们就一直是这样处理，大约就在4，5个月之前。跟幼儿沟通，这是我用过最有效的沟通方法，跟幼儿说话，要用她们的语言，幼儿也可以很合理的反应，超乎你的意料之外！下一回，Brooke在玩某一用东西，她也知道，她会受到一样的待遇：她可以尽兴的玩，直到她结束为止。当小孩了解这个层面，她就会很有耐心的等着轮到她！
Hello Stephanie, I had trouble trying to figure out what to do in this situation. How should I approach this during group play-dates when my child starts getting upset or when the other child wants what she has?
Hi Debbie,
In my experience, if I do not know the child or mother, I wouldn't ask the child to share their toy with my children. However, if my child is playing with something and someone tries to take it out of her hands, I would try to prevent that. I would ask Brooke, "Is it okay if he plays with it after you're done?" And then get down to the other child's level and say, "She will give it to you when she is done, okay?" And then a couple minutes later, if the other child still seems to really want it, ask Brooke, "Are you done playing?" If she says no or doesn't respond, I would say, "Okay, I understand you're not done. When you are done, can she play with it?" And just wait, let your child decide when she wants to give it to the other child. It may be that she wants to play with that toy through the whole playdate, then respect that. When she clearly doesn't want it anymore, I would say, "Brooke, can he play with it now?" And I have seen this happen more often than not: Brooke will bring the toy over to the child. If this doesn't happen with your child, you can model for your child what it means by walking over and handing it to the child yourself. Your child is learning what it means to play with others, so you are the best model for what she should do!
Thank you very much for this post! I was struggling in what to do about this sharing issue. Including the question Debbie asked and you brilliantly replyed.
Kisses from Brazil 😉