幼儿与睡觉时间
星期四, 十二月 13th, 2012 11:51 am | By Stephanie Woo
过去两个月，要让23个月大的B以及M去睡觉，是段挺难的经历，在我关灯离开她们的房间之後，她俩轮流哭，妳们有其它人有这样的经历吗？我试了好多种方法，一个晚上又一个晚上，让她们留在她们的床上睡，而我在我的床睡。
我试了很多种方法：1 陪到她们睡著为止（很累人，而且让小孩养成习惯，是我最不喜欢的方法）；2 让小孩自己哭到入睡（也是我比较不喜欢的方法，当我真的很累又没办法时用过，有时候真的有效果）；3 就让她们在房间外面玩，让他们熬夜。
我将我试过并且有效的方法整理如下，过去两週，状况好多了，通常我关灯之後五分钟，我就可以离开她们的房间，她们会留在她们的房间里面，最後自己睡著，直到第二天早上7点。我还是持续的在寻找方法，以免有时候不管用。如果你有其它的方法，请留言给我。
- 妈妈跟爸爸都参与到小孩睡觉準备的过程。有无数的夜晚，小孩就是不让我离开她们的房间，并且她们会用哭来对付我，让她们不哭的其中一个方法就是跟她们说“爸爸等会会进来跟妳们道晚安，妳们要爸爸进来了吗？”通常她们会说好。不知为什麽，通常爸爸只要出现5分钟，就可以让她们睡著。也许，不是每个爸爸在小孩要睡觉的时候都有空这样做，但是，我很相信（我也这样说服我老公）爸爸们对於让小孩们睡著比妈妈还厉害，他现在也相信了。
- 给个“小儿按摩”。Brooke最近很需要抱，在观察Brooke一段时间之後，我有了这样的一个方法。你可以这样做：在关灯之後，将小孩紧紧抱在你的胸膛，用你的双手手掌摩擦小孩的背，腿，手臂，以及脚，轻柔坚定并且缓慢。尽量的让她靠近你，就像是婴儿按摩，不过对象是你家的幼儿，我家的两个孩子轮流，当我在为其中一个按摩的时候，我会跟另一个说“我正在抱你的姐姐／妹妹，请不要打扰我们”，Brooke以及Mackenzie都很喜欢，Mackenzie会用中文跟我说“Mackenzie要用力一点”，大约5-10分钟的肌肤亲密接触，她们会回到各自的枕头，跟我道晚安。最近的几个星期，这是最有效的方法，特别是我先生出差的那个星期，不知识小婴儿需要很多的肌肤接触，幼儿也是很需要de.
- 千万不要改变睡眠的流程。之前已经吃过饭，喝了奶，也读过故事了， 在晚上8:15-8:30之间，我们一定会去準备小孩要睡觉。白天的流程可能会有一些改变（我还是努力的维持下午一点的午睡时间），但是，晚上的睡觉时间是不会改变的，如果我和老公要出门，我们也会请保姆遵守同样的时间规律，有很多家庭在某些时候会放松（假日，生日，特别的日子，週末），但是幼儿很强烈的需要秩序以及固定流程，让小孩依照成人的时间来修改，只会让情况一团乱，让孩子没有办法自己去睡觉。
- 在睡觉之前的一个小时，跟小孩再一次说明她们睡觉之前的準备过程。当我在为小孩洗澡的时候，我会将整个流程再说一次“洗澡之後，妳们就要喝奶，妳们躺在床上之後，我就会给你们读故事，接著我就会关灯，妈妈就会离开妳们的房间，妳们就会自己睡著。”在关灯前的15分钟，我还会将流程再睡一次，这样的心里预备过程对每个人都很有帮助。
- 睡眠的自由与限制。当她们说“我还不想睡”，我就说“你还不需要睡，你得要待在房间里，但是你可以不要睡著。”我说的时候，是真心的。她们睡在地板床上，因此，她们有自由能够再房间里自由移动，一直到她们够累了，就会自己睡著。
我读了很多的部落格／博客上的文章，告诉家长要珍惜睡觉的时间，因为，小孩长大之後，她们不会喜欢你现在对待她的方式。我知道它们说的是真的，但是为了我现在自己的快乐以及心灵健康，我也需要有时间给自己，而自己的时间就是她们睡著之後的时间，如果你家现在有个幼儿，你应该懂得我说什麽，每个晚上当我有几个小时给我自己，并且可以好好睡一觉，第二天早上我们见到彼此的时候，我们都会开心一点！
Amen, Stephanie. I am so glad you posted this because my girls have always had difficulty falling asleep since they were colicky newborns and its nice to know we’re not alone in the toddlerhood bedtime troubles! I’ve tried lying with them until they fall asleep (they often wake an hour later and cry, or it cuts into my “me” time by hours and makes me resentful), and also sleep training/cry-it-out out starting at 7 months old (they’re 17 months now!) which still hurts my heart to hear. We now do a combo where we lay with them with the lights out (after story in bed) and sing/hum a few lullabies and rub their backs for 5 minutes then quietly leave without fanfare. Sometimes they cry for a few minutes, sometimes they’ve already fallen asleep, sometimes one has fallen asleep but the other cries when we leave but will cuddle up with her sis and settle down. Rarely do they cry longer than 10-15 minutes (off an on)- if they do then I know someone has a dirty diaper, is teething, or is just not tired yet/is overtired and exhausted. At that point we normally go in quietly in the dark, with no words, and check them/lay down with them for a few more minutes. It helps that they sleep in the same bed – they have since they started crawling and one would always crawl into the others’ bed! We just pushed their mattresses together and let them have a big roomy pad. I wonder if Brooke & Mackenzie ever sleep together? We have a video monitor so we can peek at our little sleeping darlings!
I agree too that the routine is key. Anytime we’ve varied it or strayed from that order it’s rocked their night (and ours) so it’s just not worth it- for their sake or ours! Friends without kids have a hard time understanding our insistence on following this routine and timing.
I wish they would be able to just play or read books until they’re tired enough to go lay down in their beds and fall asleep, but at that time of the night they just go ballistic when we leave the room! Have you ever been able to just leave a low light/night light on and let your girls play until they sleep?
Hi Gillian,
B and M also sleep on one big bed that we created out of their two individual mattresses. They usually stay on their side at bedtime, but by morning, they are all over the place!
I have not been able to just leave a light on and let them play till they sleep, mostly because that hasn’t been our routine. What they are familiar with is lights out at 815 and then they stay in the room by themselves (after our good night rounds) till they fall asleep.
So good to hear from you and read your updates on the girls!
Thanks for this post! I love the methods you’re using here and we have used some of them in the past, and the bedtime routine consistently. But it’s good to be reminded when we’re feeling cranky and out of ideas to just stick with it! I will need to try leading him back to his room instead of picking him up and forcing him back on his bed. Also the part about him not being forced to ‘sleep’.
Hi Stephanie, my little daughter is now 9 months and has been sleeping on her floor bed since she’s 5 months. When she started to crawl and pull up on things, she would stay right behind the door or pull up on it and i wouldn’t be able to open it to go in. So I had to put a standing gate so I could open the door. Then she would pull up on the gate and cry. I usually just let her cry for 5 minutes before I would go in to pick her up and soothe her for 1-2 minutes, then put her down. I was just wondering if you had the same problem with your little ones blocking the door. I don’t know if I should keep the gate or remove it since I don’t want her to feel restricted like she’s being in a bigger crib. Although she does play with her toys sometimes in the morning for 10-15 mins or so, she doesn’t really play in her room before bed time. So as soon as I turn off the light and close the door, she’s headed straight to the gate and start to fuss. Any advise on how to encourage her to play or crawl around in her room before she’s ready to go to sleep? She does play on her own around the house, just not in her bedroom.
I forgot to mention, I’ve been following a routine everyday too. Walk, eat, bath, milk, reading book, then light out.
All great tips! You are spot on about dads being better at putting kids to bed. Our first 2 kids (3rd is still nursing before bed.) would pull me back for question after question, book after book, hug after hug…but my husband was/is always able to read them a quick book, tuck them in with a hug and a kiss and that was it!