B and M Making Scrambled Eggs (25 months old)

In the last two weeks, I’ve given two talks and done many private Skype and home consultations. I’ve received overwhelmingly beautiful thank-you emails. People used words like “eye-opening” “really impacted me” “a Montessori angel,” “a billion thank-you’s.” My favorite stories are things like, “Even in the few days since your talk, I’ve noticed him responding really well to increased chances at independence,” or “She received a doll a few months ago and have been astounded by the way she cares for her “baby,” so I thought another role playing toy would be great. I wasn’t thinking that she can actually peel, cut, mix, etc. using real foods, and learn by doing rather than pretending!”

Because I know my clients also read my blog, if you sent me an email, I sincerely want to thank you for your kind words and taking the time to write what you did.

Now can I tell you the best part about all this? It’s my own experience of certainty and joy. I am more certain than ever that the best home environment is one of the most important things you can do for your child.  Parents spend so much hard-earned money on daycare, swim class, nannies and all sorts of products at Toys R Us (I’m guilty as charaged). But home is where your child spends the most amount of time. A child can go into the kitchen 20 times a day. How do you set-up a kitchen so that your child can feel ownership and work on his organizational skills?  Does he have a way to access a towel or tissue to wipe his face? Can he reach the bread and peanut butter to make himself a snack? Can he get a drink of water without asking for help? We want an environment where the child can take care of his own needs based on his own timeline and according to his own rhythm. Lucky for us, when he is taking care of his own basic needs, he’s also working on those critical skills we most want him to have: self-discipline, organization, gross and fine motor skills, self-confidence and executive skills. Why buy him a toy to exercise these things, when he can learn it from setting his own table everyday?

So, how do you do this? How can you create this for your child, too?

After my morning consultation session, I came downstairs and proclaimed to my husband: “I love my job!” I get to work with the most well-intentioned parents whose love for their children move me everyday. Parents are just looking for some advice, tips and methods that work. The Montessori Method works. Other methods may work as well, but now that you’re here, you need look no further.

For more information, please visit my Private Consultation page. Together, let’s create the best home environment for your child to learn and grow.

My heart is broken for the families of Sandy Hook Elementary School. I’ve spent the weekend crying for those young children, but it’s their families I cannot stop thinking about. No parent should ever have to bury a child. At the same time, my heart is fearful for the rest of us, including my children and my family. As a mother, I keep looking for something out there in the news that will give me the courage to stay in this country and feel safe enough to send my children to school again tomorrow morning. I think about the mall 10 minutes from our house that has 400+ guns on display for sale right next to the line of little children waiting to see Santa. How those two things can stand side by side is beyond me.

We don’t have a TV. So we don’t expose our children to news of any kind. But when they are asleep, I find myself searching constantly on the internet for something that will give me hope. In case you’re looking to make sense of the whole thing, like I’ve been, I wanted to share some of these articles with you.

This article reminded me of the significance of Obama’s 2-term victory. I remember waking up on the morning of Nov 7 and heaving a huge sigh of relief. The kind of change he talks about here happens with elections like these. Be sure to read the articles he refers to as well. 

This article from The Guardian was enlightening about gun ownership. Most interesting to me are these facts: “Between 1985 and 2010 the prevalence of gun ownership has declined from roughly a third of Americans owning a gun to barely 20%. … those who do own guns now tend to have multiple weapons.” And “…gun ownership, in political terms, has for long been a minority issue in the US, with those who do own firearms — by and large being white, older and male — monopolising a national debate.” From this election, it is clear these old white men, who voted Republican more than 6 to 10, are proportionally declining in the US. This 20% no longer represent the majority of Americans and they’ve just lost the last election.

This is the time to remind ourselves that as mothers, we are doing THE important job in the world. We are educating the children who are going to be shaping the future of our world. And it is through that education and the political actions we engage in and model for our children that lead to change – real and lasting change. I find hope in making my voice heard, in voting for the politicians who represent my choices and in teaching (when the time comes) my children to think about the issues that confront us. I refuse to stay terrorized. I refuse to feel paralyzed. I’ve come out on the other side of anger and deep utter sadness: the things that don’t represent the majority of us simply cannot and will not last. Change is coming.

If you want to take action immediately, join me and sign this open petition from WhiteHouse.gov.

B and M, 20 months, helping me cut carrots for our basil vegetable soup

It’s been 3 ½ months since I wrote my last blog. During that time, the girls and I moved to Denver CO where I completed my AMI 0-3 Montessori Training, moved back to NY, renovated our apartment, rented it out, moved to Baltimore where my husband started a new job and the girls started going to school. It’s been a very intense period of time. I think even bigger than all the moves and changes we’ve been going through is my own transformational journey as a Montessorian and mother. Writing 1000+ pages about children ages 0-3 and everything that will help them become a truly self-fulfilled human being, observing various children for 250 hours and documenting every detail I’ve observed, then passing a 6-hour written exam and 2-hour oral exam – that process changes you, as a human being, as a Montessorian, as a mother.

I started writing this blog because my mother was giving me so much good advice when my girls were first born that I felt I had to share it with more mothers. And then eventually I started writing because I was in awe of what children are capable of at such a young age when given the right environment. Now, I feel I want to write because I’m getting just how critical this age is for the rest of your child’s life and for the future of humanity. Children, from ages 0-6, are ABSORBING with their whole being everything you give them. If you give them a lot, they can be a lot, if you give them a little, they can only be a little. So at this age, it is critical to give them the best environment you possibly can. What they take in and absorb becomes a part of their flesh, part of their consciousness – all of it so deeply embedded that they will carry it with them forever. With all I’ve learned from my training, I have spent a lot of time choosing and designing what kind of environment I give my children. That’s why in the upcoming blogs, you will see why we ask them to set the table and clean up after they eat, why we teach them to use scissors, pit cherries, use knives, etc. It’s not so they can do circus tricks or so mom and dad can show off how great they are, it is because every one of these activities is designed to help them become a truly self-fulfilled human being. As a mother, that’s what I want for them.