Brooke and Mackenzie are 4 ½ months. Two weeks ago, I hired a new nanny from China who has been nannying for five years in the US. On the third day she started working with us, Brooke fussed a little bit before her morning nap. My nanny immediately picked her up and rocked her to sleep. Brooke fell asleep in her arms. I didn’t say anything but I made a mental note because in my house, we never rock our children to sleep.

Another time, she told me that babies like to drink milk before sleeping, so as soon as Brooke started fussing before her nap, the nanny started feeding her some milk. In my observation, this did not shorten the fussing time. I could tell that the nanny was experienced and I didn’t say anything once again.

Sunday and Monday came (nanny’s days off) and it was just me and the kids. Again, Brooke was fussy before her nap. I just let her fuss and eventually it became full-out crying. I let her cry for 3 minutes and then went in, picked her up, patted her until she became calm and then put her down again. Lo and behold, she started screaming again. So I let her cry for another 3 (LONG, it’s so hard to listen to your baby cry) minutes, went in and did the same thing. I did this 4 times in total, till she finally fell asleep.

The next day, she was fussy AGAIN at nap time. I did the same thing. This time, she fell asleep after 2 times. And then that afternoon, I left her on the play mat and she fell asleep by herself, no fussing at all.

The funny part, when the nanny arrived the next day, Brooke did the same thing again. Babies are smart, they know who’s around – who will spoil them and who will not. I told the nanny to leave her to me. It was clear it was just gonna be mommy! And she quickly fell asleep – no rocking, no milk.

I had to have a conversation with the nanny about the whole thing. From her point of view, she, being my employee, didn’t want me to think she was leaving the baby to cry. I reassured her that in this household, it was okay to employ our strategy: if the baby fusses before sleeping (and it’s clear she is not wet, hungry or needs to be burped and that she is really just tired or fussy), let her cry for a few minutes, pick her up to comfort her, then put her straight down. No rocking, no milk, nothing. Just put her down and repeat if necessary. A couple days later, Brooke was back to her old self: we put her down in her bed and she puts herself to sleep.

I want to raise independent, happy children. When babies can put themselves to sleep, they are learning to be independent, without needing an adult to fall asleep. And this makes for happier babies.

I started letting B and M experience solid food when they turned 4 months old. My mom told me that babies go through a sensitive period for eating between 4 and 5 months. For many babies, it coincides with a period of time when their appetite for milk decreases, so it’s the perfect time to offer them solids. Babies love to eat at this age and will eat practically anything you offer them. If they are given the chance to experience eating real food during this sensitive period, they will generally be very good eaters down the line, whereas babies who start eating later (9 months or later) will be much more finicky about their food (and particularly dislike textured food).

The first week, we started by eating a little bit of banana. When I say a little, I mean 2-3 tiny half-spoonfuls. I remember putting the spoon to Brooke’s mouth.  NOTE: never shove the food in the baby’s mouth. Let them open their mouth to the food. Brooke tasted the banana and then furrowed her eyebrows, looking quite displeased with this strange thing that I was putting in her mouth. Now looking back, my babies do that every time I put a new food in their mouth. My mother warned me to not interpret that as them not liking the food. It’s just that they have no other way to express themselves. It IS strange, it IS new, but it doesn’t mean they don’t like it. Give it to them a couple more times, and they’ll like it.

The first 3 weeks, I fed them when I remembered to, which wasn’t everyday. I did apply the 4-day wait rule. Books will tell you it’s to make sure they don’t have allergies, my mom says it’s so that they have the chance to develop the enzyme for that particular food. Eventually I started feeding them once a day and since they turned 5.5 months old, I started feeding them twice a day.

My Chinese nanny, in her five years as a nanny, has never seen a mother make her own baby food. Every family she’s ever worked for fed their babies exclusively jarred baby food. “It doesn’t have preservatives!” she exclaimed. I told her any food that has an expiration date 2-3 YEARS from now is completely dead food, preservatives or no preservatives. It has no live enzymes, unlike fresh fruits and vegetables. I said, “Can you imagine eating out of a jar or can every single day, 3 meals a day for 6 months?”

Here are some basics of food-making I’ve been adhering to.

• Only buy certified organic produce
• Never feed them anything that has been in the refrigerator for more than 2 days
• Feed them food you would want to eat – fresh,  tasty, healthy fruits, vege and grains

My babies are now 5 ½ month old. So far I’ve fed them the following foods, all steamed or baked then pureed (except banana and avocado that doesn’t require cooking). I introduced the food in this order:

Banana
Sweet potato
Stewed pears
Avocado
Stewed Plums
Mashed Potato with cow’s milk
Butternut squash
Carrots
Mango
Zucchini

The book Super Baby Food has been a great resource for what to feed your baby, as well as how to prepare and store baby food.