My husband is away on a week-long business trip. Our nanny is on her 6-week vacation. After three days of being alone with them, last night I had one of those I-hope-no-one-who-reads-my-blog-ever-sees-me-now kind of a moment. I’m in the middle of cleaning up after an elaborate, health-conscious, culturally-educational meal of braised sea bass, tofu with mushrooms and minced meat and a special rice dish with baby bok-choy, edamame and carrots. I’ve got dishes piled up to the ceiling in the sink, a table full of half-eaten food and wondering why I had gone through the trouble of cooking any of it. I’m trying to load the dishwasher as fast as possible, with B tugging at my pants saying, “Mama, don’t wash dishes.” It should have been a sign. Well, the girls decided to go into the rice cupboard, dump out 2 giant cups of uncooked rice on the floor, then throw it at each other. “What are you doing? Stop! STOP! I knew I shouldn’t have kept this here where you can get to it!” I go upstairs to get the vacuum. When I come back, they had gotten into the flour and was smearing it all over the cupboard door. I grab their hands and pull them into the living room. “Stand here. And don’t move!” I’m absolutely fuming.

Hours later, I realized two things:

1. You cannot keep up a household the same way you did when you have a husband AND nanny.
2. Of the three most important people in B and M’s life, two of them are gone. And they are desperately trying to get my attention.

I’m still recovering from my burst of anger and ensuing exhaustion from cleaning, but I decided to have a conversation with them anyway. At bedtime, I held them and said, “Mama yelled very loudly today, didn’t I?” Nods all around. “Mama is very tired today, so when you threw rice everywhere, I got very angry. I’m sorry I yelled at you.” They don’t say anything. “When Daddy and Ayi are not here, I need you to help me keep the house clean. Can you help me?” It’s a lot to ask of a 2-year-old, but they nod anyway.   

You really can’t stay mad at a toddler who tries so hard to keep her promise. The next morning, they both clean up breakfast without a fuss. But then on our way to school this morning, B confesses, “Brooke didn’t clean up.” I ask, “What didn’t you clean up?” She says, “Brooke didn’t clean up Play-doh.” I ask, “Do you want me to help you clean it up?” She says, “No. Brooke clean up Play-doh by herself.”

It took three days of exhaustion, misery and way too much yelling for me to learn this: No more elaborate meals or extensive clean-ups. It’s time to break out the disposable bowls, plates and take-out menus. They need time doing Play-doh, storytime and cuddles with me more than ever. The acting out is merely their way of getting my attention.  I’m putting aside the idea of keeping the perfect home and ready to get on with the real ‘work’ of raising twin toddlers — tickling, chasing, singing, laughing and oodles of hugging.

At 22 months, Brooke and Mackenzie are finally able to undress and dress themselves completely. They can take off and put on shirts, pants, dresses, socks, shoes and jackets with very little or no help. I have to confess I do help them when I get impatient, which is more often than I’d like to admit! But they’ve demonstrated that given enough time, they can do it all on their own.

I don’t know if your kids are like this, but mine are pretty obsessed with clothing. Since they were six months old, we’ve always kept their clothes on an open, accessible shelf like this. They can come and play with their clothes and shoes as much as they want. They love to watch us get dressed and undressed and doing it themselves. Probably because I’ve given them so much liberty around this, all the practice they’ve gotten has made them very self-sufficient when it comes to clothing. 

Right now, this where they get dressed. You can’t see it in the picture, but this is right next to their work area. Getting dressed and undressing is just as interesting to them as using scissors or reading a book (if not more interesting on some days!).

On the top row, you see socks. They are obsessed with socks. On the second row are shirts and dresses. On the bottom row are pants, training pants and diapers. They are pretty much potty trained, but we do put them in diapers if we are going out for more than an hour or at night. And on the floor are their shoes.

I don’t interfere when they dress themselves. This means, on a weekly basis, you’ll find them wearing their pants backwards, two left shoes (from two different pairs of shoes, usually because they are sharing two pairs of shoes), two different colored socks, underwear over their pants, multiple jackets. etc. I think it’s hilarious, but I don’t correct them. If it doesn’t bother them, then it doesn’t bother me. What’s more important is the fact that they are capable of making decisions and following through on those decisions.

The weather just turned cold here in Baltimore so they are starting to put on jackets. I just installed these hooks on the walls for their jackets two days before this video. This is a good example of how we use this space in our home:

In the next post, I’ll show you a GREAT method for toddlers to put on their own jackets. They can’t do it the way we do it because their arms are too short, but wait till you see this!

To continue the tour of our new Montessori home, here is where we eat.

1. This is the same weaning table we’ve had since they were 6 months old – we’ve gotten more use out of the $150 table than anything else we’ve ever bought for the kids. However, I replaced the heavy armchairs with light slatted chairs. These chairs were designed by Maria Montessori herself. They are made of birch wood, so they are lightweight enough for children to carry, but the design makes them extremely sturdy. I also find them to be beautiful to look at. Email me if you want the name of the carpenter in Denver who made these for me.

2. The cups and pitcher are permanent fixtures on this table. This is where the children get a drink of water during the day.

3. When not in use, we keep this dirty dish basket under the table. After meals, they clean up their own table and put their dishes in here.

4. These are their placemats. I’ve pre-drawn outlines of plate, bowl, fork and knife on a piece of paper, then laminated it. This great Montessori trick makes it so easy for little ones to set their own table. When they’re setting the table, you’ll see them point at the outline of the fork and say, “Fork,” then go to the cart to get a fork, and then point of the outline of the plate and say, “Plate,” then get one, etc. It’s like a great little cheat-sheet! I highly-recommend it. Takes about 5 minutes to make and costs very little. You can see how the children use it in the video below.

5. Here are their bowls, plates, fork and spoon. I keep the fork and spoon in separate containers.

6. These towels are used for their mouth, hands and for wiping up spills. The little hoops I’ve sewn onto the towel makes it really easy for them to hang on hooks. This tip I learned in my Montesorri training has saved me thousands of paper towels.

7. This little basket holds two sponges, which they use for wiping their mat. You can see them using it in this video here

8. This rolling cart is light, takes up very little floor space and can be moved around easily.

In order for you to get an idea of how we use this space, here is a video of the children making a smoothie, setting the table, then sitting down to eat their breakfast.

Before we start, here are the ingredients we use in the smoothie. Putting out each ingredient in individual containers makes it possible for children to make this smoothie on their own.

 Here we go!

If you’re interested in making fresh sunflower seed milk, here’s a great video. It’s super easy. And instead of using Brazil nut, like he does in the video, I use cashews or sunflower seeds: http://livingmaxwell.com/how-to-make-nut-milk